I'm not sure what to do with my hands....

"The Incident"...

2011-09-13T08:51:00.007-06:00

The year was 2005. I was 17, and as most 17-year-olds believe themselves to be, independent, invincible and well versed in all aspects of the world. We had spent months remodeling the house we were living in and I had a HUGE bedroom, a bathroom to myself...and mice.

My only previous experience with mice had been when I was very young and my mom and I were living in a sketchy apartment in Denver. We had a mouse and immediately set traps...my mom is excellent at the independent woman stuff. All was good. Until we caught the little vermin.

Once it was caught, even my mother who is probably the most independent, empowered, "women don't need men to do the tough stuff" person I know, turned into a squeamish schoolgirl. Long story short, my grandpa, the kind soul he is, took pity on us and drove across town to dispose of the little beast.

Fast forward 12 years or so and we were living with mice and Grandpa was 250 miles away....a little far for a trip to dispose of our unwanted rodents. It was during this time that I had what I now refer to only as "The Incident"...for now we'll just say that it involved a mouse, a hoodie I was wearing and an emotional outburst that remains with me today as lingering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Okay, so I diagnosed myself via webMD, but I am pretty sure any medical professional would concur.

Because of "The Incident", I have a certain predisposed hatred of rodents. Thus you can only imagine my disgust when my dear friends SF and LJ were eating breakfast in my kitchen while I dressed for the day and informed me that they had seen a furball scurry from my trashcan to the pantry. EFFFF.

Sweet and dear SF advised that I name him Gus and try to think endearingly towards him and that maybe he would mend my clothes whilst I was away. No.
Sweet and dear LJ insisted that she was positive the mouse she saw was infected with Hantavirus and the Black Plague. Cool.

The 11 days since has been toilsome and painstaking to say the least.

I bought some "No See, No Touch" traps and an electronic one that each promised results ending in certain death for the mouse and a quick and painless disposal for me...I plan on writing D-Con and Viktor for refunds.

On Sunday evening I got this text from my roommate DG:

I was so glad to be enjoying the company of friends at LJ's house at the time.

I ran to the nearest store and picked up some "Snappy Traps" because DG reported that the mouse simply crawled over our our snooty falooty traps. Excellent.

(Sidenote: sometimes my sarcasm amazes even me. As I put 8 snappy traps on the conveyor belt, the cashier said to me "You have a mouse in your house?" My response? "Nope. Just game night". I paid and left. Don't ask me stupid questions if you want a serious answer, please."

I came home to find our living room "rearranged" and my roommates sitting on the counter and in the sink. We loaded 6 snappy traps with peanut butter and waited for that unmistakable sound that would inevitably come....or not.

By the time I came home around midnight, the trap were all still safe and sound. Around 1 as I laid in bed I could have sworn I heard the sound of rodent skull crushing trap springs. I was incorrect. The next morning the traps were all still set, but this time licked clean of peanut butter, turkey and every other bait we tried.

Apparently this was our Mouse:

I was beginning to wonder if we had a mouse or a ninja-pig loose in our house.

Last night when I came home after a particularly grueling day of work to find the traps all licked clean AGAIN, I decided it was now personal.

If I came into your house, ate half a jar of peanut butter, pooped on your floor and counters and caused chaos, you would be upset too, right?

I cleaned off the traps and thought of a new kind of bait. This was my thought process:

-Peanut butter can be nibbled without any real consequences...obviously.
-We need something stickier...much stickier.
-Remember that one time Gabby dropped a fruit snack in your car and then it stuck to the carpet, but gave off a lovely sweet fruity smell?
-Done and done.

I mushed up some fruit snacks into a ball of sticky sweet goo. Then I wrapped it tightly around the bait pedals on two traps and went to bed. As we snuggled in for the night (with towels shoved under our bedroom doors as they had been all week), I told DG that I thought, "Tonight is the night!"

That brings us to today.

As my alarm went off, DG came out of the bathroom in her towel and told me excitedly, "Ashleigh! The mouse is caught!"

Well, 6:30am and I was wide awake with the power of victory.

Because of the early hour, we felt a little guilty calling one of the many boys who had promised to come help us rid of it once it had been caught. So after 20 minutes of staring, gagging and debating whether to ask Professor Lyons (DG's professor of Physiology, a tough guy hailing form Jersey who lives across the way from us) to help us as he opened his garage to head to work, we decided we could do it.

I think the exact words went something like this:
DG: "Text our roommate TC and tell her that when she gets home from work, her finace can show off his manliness and take care of it...but...I kind of want to make pancakes for breakfast."

Me: "Well we aren't making breakfast with that dead mouse just chilling on the floor in the kitchen, that's for dang sure."

DG: "Yeah...but what if it moves when we touch it?!"
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(Five minutes of staring and debating)
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Me: "DG, we are strong and independent women...who want pancakes! We can do this"

So just like I imagine Rosie the Riveter would do it, with a mop, a broom, a dustpan and some serious skills at using these tools as giant chopsticks, I flopped the very dead mouse and trap into the dustpan and threw it all in the trash can. (Dustpan included, we'll be replacing that). DG wheeled it out to the curb just in time for the garbage truck to haul Gus Gus away.

Adieu Gus Gus. Adieu.

We made Mickey shaped pancakes for breakfast to celebrate.

And as a fair warning to any friends, family or acquaintances of Gus Gus who might be tempted to visit my home, I have a family size box of fruit snacks. Don't think I won't use them.

I will when I will...

2011-03-03T21:44:00.003-07:00

Okay, the 30 day challenge thing didn't work either. I am giving up trying to find clever ways to make myself blog. It's like telling me I MUST pull the paper towel with both hands...I will only insist on pulling it with one because I was told to pull it with two. I am not telling myself to do anything from now on. Ever.

That being said, I do miss blogging. So I shall begin again straightaway.

I am going to go ahead and do the 30 day challenge in my own way. It might be more like a 30 year challenge, but I will get to it eventually.

I have a certain roommate/best friend who ALWAYS says "I will when I will" whenever told to do something. As much as that annoys me, I am taking the same stance in regards to my blog.

Here goes.

Challenge Day 4: A habit you wish you didn't have.

I. am a CREATURE of habit. I always have been. Probably always will be. My idea of living on the edge is ordering something different of the Thai restaurant menu...(The Panang Curry is delicious...WHY should I order something I am not positive is equally as tasty? It seems irrational!)

As roundabout as it seems, I would say that the habits I wish I didn't have are....my habits.

I have some pretty strict routines, a solid set of favorites of just about every category, a tendency to hesitate at trying new things, and a habit of sticking to what I know.

I always thought it seemed smart and safe to find what you like and stick to it. That is why you call it a favorite, right?

Don't get me wrong, I am all for adventure! I have pulled some highly memorable pranks, moved to a city that I had never set eye on, and even taken more roadtrips than your average vagabond...but none of these happened without careful planning or mapquesting first.

See what I mean?

I am all for adventure. As long as it is planned and sure not to end in anything unexpected. Because no one likes surprises (well at least no one who authors this blog).

So here is to trying new things, going on some REAL adventures and refusing to become a stick in the mud. Because no one likes a stick in the mud. No really. No one does.

Specificity....

2010-11-18T16:25:00.003-07:00

Challenge Day 3:
A Picture of You and Your Friends

Frankly, this seems like a silly challenge.

In order to post just one picture of me and my friends, I need a little more specificity. (I Love that word).

What kind of picture?

Which friends??

In what kind of setting???

Serious or goofy????

I need those details.

So for today's challenge, I am putting up just one picture.

There is a day later in this 30 day challenge thing that calls for more pictures of friends.

I will get more creative then. (I promise.)

So, what picture to choose...?
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Of course.
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This one.
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It is the most current picture in my photobooth.
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You see, it is Premier Night.
We have tickets to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
in T-minus 7 hours and 29 minutes.

Naturally, we had to put on our Wizrding best. And take pictures of ourselves.

(swish and flick)Mischief Managed.

A Ballad of Ricky Bobby...

2010-11-17T15:01:00.005-07:00

CHALLENGE DAY 2:
The Story Behind My Blog Name:
I'm Not Sure What to Do with My Hands...
(How creepy is this picture?...It is "Hand Soap". I think I just figured out what to get everyone on my Christmas list.)

Many years ago...(okay, about 4 and a half years ago) on the last night before my mom would leave me at college, she told me to invite my new friend to come to a movie with us

I think my exact words were, "No. That's weird. I don't even know that Gabby girl yet."

But in her infinite wisdom, she insisted that I call "that one girl that I sat next to at orientation".

So I did.

I told this new "friend" of mine that my mom and I were going to go get some dinner and go to a movie and that she was welcome to join us if she wanted to.

She kindly accepted.

So my mom and I drove her Purple Pontiac to the dorms and picked Gabby up.

We went to dinner and then to the Cedar City Stadium 8 Theater.

We bought tickets to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby...(don't judge)

If you have seen this movie, you understand what I mean when I say it is completely stupid, utterly irreverent, and so funny at times that you are a little embarrassed to laugh.

Throughout the whole movie I was trying not to laugh...just in case that new girl that my mom made me bring along didn't think it was funny. I certainly didn't want her to get the wrong idea about me.

But, there were a couple of times when I couldn't help it. My laughs came in little spurts like unruly droplets from a broken drinking fountain.

This part produced quite a few laugh spurts:

Fast forward several weeks to when Gabby I had become best pals.

Talking about that fateful first movie "date", she admitted that she too was squelching her laughs as to not look a fool in front of her new pal. (Whew....)

We talked about the scene above and how the awkwardness made us laugh like fools.

The term "I'm not sure what to do with my hands" quickly became our saying of choice when placed in awkward situations.

When either one of us would utter these words, the other knew just exactly what was being implied...."this is awkward. Let's get out of here."

Soon it became such a part of our vocabulary that we needn't even utter the words. When in a group gathering or a social situation, I could raise my hands awkwardly up toward my face and Gabby, even from across a crowded room, would get my message loud and clear.

Now. In 2008 when I started my blog, I had one main purpose for doing so.

I seem to be a magnet for awkward.

I have more stories of awkward moments, awkward people and awkward situations than all of the stories in the average Brothers Grimm fairytale book.

They come to me like moths to a flame.

I wanted to use this blog to share some of the stories that made up "the awkwardness that is my life"

So naturally, the title couldn't be anything other than the infamous words of Mr. Ricky Bobby himself.

And the rest is history.

Shake....And. Bake.

Okay....Take 2.

2010-11-16T18:37:00.005-07:00

Okay so maybe I didn't learn as much from Savage Garden as I thought I had. October was a crazy month that led into November, and even crazier month....thus, I am awful at blogging on a schedule. So I am going to try this one. I got the idea from my friend Mrs. Sharlene Romero nie Witt.

Maybe if I have a specific to blog about every day, I can do it. Maybe. I said maybe.

So here goes.

THE CHALLENGE

Day 1-Recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 2-The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 3-A picture of you and your friends
Day 4-A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 5-A picture of somewhere you've been to
Day 6-Favorite super hero and why
Day 7-A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 8-Short term goals for this month and when you'll accomplish them
Day 9-Something you're proud of in the past few days
Day 10-Songs you listen to when you're bored, happy, sad, mad, hyped
Day 11-Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12-How you found out about blogger and why you have one
Day 13-A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14-A picture of you and your family
Day 15-Put your ipod or shuffle on-first 10 songs that play
Day 16-Another picture of yourself
Day 17-Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18-Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19-Nicknames you have and why you have them
Day 20-Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future
Day 21-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22-What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23-Something you crave for a lot
Day 24-A letter to your parents
Day 25-What I would find in your bag
Day 26-What do you think about your friends
Day 27-Why you are doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28-A picture of you from last year and now-how have you changed?
Day 29-In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30-Your favorite song

I'm going to go ahead and just put Challenge #1 as part of this post:

Challenge #1: Recent picture of you and 15 :interesting" facts about yourself

And here are some facts you may or may not know about me.

1. My car is orange. Not bright traffic cone orange, but more of a coppery, pumpkin orange. When I first bought it I secretly thought it was hideous. I love it now. I have been asked if I knew the name of the color and what brand of autobody paint it was.....does ANYONE really know that about their car? I don't. I am assuming the blank stare at the man that asked me this in the Maverik Parking lot relayed the message.

2. I always feel like a little bit of a rebel when I use only one hand to pull the paper towels out of the dispensers that say in big letters "USE BOTH HANDS". It satisfies me to say that I can do it without doing it the way I was told to.

3. Right before I fall asleep, my thoughts make no sense at all. And I can tell. It is hard to explain, but just last night I was thinking about a paper I must write about Disney movies (yep, Disney movies) and then suddenly my thoughts went from Aladdin and Jasmine's lack of clothing to squirrels with glasses. Which of course immediately led to me thinking about waterfalls of milk. I told you. They make no sense. But I can tell that they make no sense and that sleep is encroaching.

4. One of my favorite things about winter is hugging people who have just come inside from the cold. I love that you can smell the chill and feel the frostiness in the air around them. So please feel free to take a walk in the bone chilling temps right over to my apartment for a hug. No charge.

5. I am a wizard. For real. Doubt if you must, but photographic evidence is below.

6. There are certain jokes, words and even just thoughts that will ALWAYS make me laugh. No matter how mature I grow to be or how sacred a moment I am in, they will never fail.

8. Today I did the USA Today Crossword puzzle in 23 minute and 14 seconds.

7. Today I woke up with "Ice, Ice Baby" stuck in my head....still looking for an explanation.

9. I have on my kitchen counter, Naked Eggs. They look like this:
A roommate had some eggs that were past their date of consumability (I don't think that is actually a word. It should be.) Naturally, I decided it was science experiment time. 2 days in a vinegar bath and we have some Nudist Eggs. No shell, just the membrane holding it all together. Now everytime I see them I have an urge to throw them at passersby...walk carefully past my apartment.

10. Every Tuesday and Every Thursday, I race Gabby at the SUU Newspaper's Sudoku puzzle. I always lose. Little does she know that I am training in secret to one day blow her out of the water. It's coming.

11. I love when people laugh and their entire face changes so they look like a different person. I used to have a friend who looked a little like Leonardo DiCaprio when he laughed really hard. It always made me smile to see. I love seeing people laugh so hard that they can't control it or try to be quiet about it...Laughter like that is reason for living!

12. I used to call Tattoos, Tootatts. It sounded silly to me to call them Tattoos.

13. My roommates and I have an affinity fr nicknames. Not for each other, but for people we see all the time but don't actually know the names of. Over the years these have included Baseball, Lana, Idaho, Grease Monkey, Fanny Pack, Mr. Fancypants, Blondie...the list goes on and on. We recently nicknamed a gentleman we see on campus frequently. We nicknamed him Luigi. Reason? If he had the blue suspenders and the green shirt, he would be the SPITTING image. Today, I saw a gentleman and nicknamed him Mario for the same reasons. I have set out to make sure they cross paths.

14. A friend recently told me that going around a roundabout more than 8 times is illegal in the Beehive State. The criminals that we are, we went around 9 times. We're now hiding from the law.

15. I have tickets so a certain movie in T-Minus 2 days, 4 hours and 28 minutes. Not that I'm counting.

Free-Ninety-Free...

2010-10-11T21:30:00.002-06:00

I am a fan of free.

Anything free will do.

One time when I was a freshman in college, a wee naive babe, my roommates boyfriend worked at the local Shell Station. He always brought home huge bags of Beef Jerky or bucket loads of other gas station loot. When my roommate asked him how much it cost, his response was always:

"Don't worry babe...it was free-ninety-free."...Sounds kind of like $3.93....But as my little naive self soon learned, that is not what it meant.

Anyways, I can always go for something free-ninety-free.

As a poor college student, I have learned that if one tries hard enough, one can ALWAYS find free loot.

For instance, this website tells me at least 5 things i could get for free every day...Granted some of them are things like Depends Adult Diapers or subscriptions to "Nerd Weekly" magazine, but still it is free! And sometimes they come up with some really usable stuff. Just the other day I got a stack of sticky note labels in my mailbox...who couldn't use more sticky notes?

A friend blogger of mine recently posted this little gem...(pun intended).

www.diamondearrings.org sends out free pairs of "diamond earrings" by the bushel...

I am almost as big a fan of bling as I am a fan of free...

Combine the two, and what more could a girl ask for?!

So please, feel FREE (another pun intended) to get some free bling.

America's Next Top Models...

2010-10-10T23:52:00.005-06:00

This weekend was one chock full of excitement....

Okay no it wasn't. But now that you are two sentences in, you can't just stop reading. That would be rude. Etiquette says that you can only quit after the first sentence.
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On Saturday, the roomies all headed up the canyon for our photo-shoot.

Some of us were much more ready for our close up than others...I'll let you guess who...

As we dabbed on makeup and perfected our ensembles, I asked Kylie, who had found the location for our shoot, if we would be doing some hiking to get to the beauty of nature...

Her reply was, and i quote:

"No no no. It is just right off the main road."

Oh good. Then my black satin flats that go with my outfit will be just fine.

I was deceived.

We pulled off the road to our "location".

Then we began repelling into the muddy ravine that was our real location...

Full of muddy and slippery rocks and branches that could give way underneath you only to end in tragic head bashing and death at the bottom, the location was beautiful.

My satin shoes have seen better days...but then again i bought them at Payless so I'm not completely heartbroken.

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Our dear friend Billy Jean (who is not my lover) took the pictures for us.

Some definitely came out better than others and we all promised that before any were published, they had to be photoshopped to make sure we were looking like we are winners of America's Next Top Model.

So, with a drum roll please....

I present to you....

The ladies of Apt. 41.

Oh and Tyra called...."We are still in the running for becoming America's Next Top Models."

Beatles Songs and Train Games

2010-10-03T02:26:00.003-06:00

In my defense...it is still Sunday Night...meaning I am keeping my once a week promise.

Lately I have had this song stuck in my head...90% of the time.

Don't get me wrong. I love the Beatles as much as the next red-blooded human being.

(Well, except for a certain roommate with a name that starts with a G. She insists on calling the timeless musical gift we all know as The Beatles "The Bowl Cuts" and changing the song if one of their classics comes on the ipod. Yeah, they had bad haircuts. But the harmonies! The musical merit!)

Anyways, I digress.

This song is constantly going through my head.

I blame it on this:My name is Ashleigh and I am an addict.

Actually, I live in #41 and we are all addicts.
Except Abish.
She likes this game about as much as Gabby likes the Beatles.

The game looks something like this:

The object is to use your little colored trains to get from city to city across America.

I know, it sounds like a clever ploy a geography teacher would use to get her 3rd graders to learn the states.

But I assure you, it is fun for the whole family.

Unless Abish happens to be in your family.

We play this game at least 5 times a week, Usually multiple times in one sitting.

Sometimes we set alarms on our phones for "Train Game Time". We all take a break from the homework, the subway sandwich making, the athletic training and the library going and sit down as a family to play our favorite game.

And when the game is over, we knock all the trains over and scream and make crashing noises like you would hear at any massive train catastrophe, then we start all over again.

I would argue that it is just about the most wholesome thing you are going to find 5 college girls doing on a Friday night.

Addictions like that are okay, right?

Right.

Shocker...

2010-09-18T18:40:00.007-06:00

So here's a shocker. I'm not very good at this whole blogging thing. In the year of 2010, I have only blogged....3 times. I bow my head in shame.

See I am an AVID reader of blogs. I have my favorites. If you look over there-------> you can see the people that I consistently blogstalk...some more religiously than others. But the whole blogging on my own blog thing seems to get away from me.

One of the blogs I avidly stalk, this one, made a promise to blog every day until Christmas. That's 92 posts....(that's right, only 92 days until Christmas...woah).

Now I am not going to even attempt to make this promise...I try not to make promises I know I cannot keep. Savage Garden taught me that many years ago with this song.

And as the song says, "You know time will be the thief and/Your fallen king will end up alone."

I don't really know what the "fallen king" part means, but I do know that "time will be the thief" and I will not live up to my promise....

SO. This is MY promise. I am going to blog at least once a week until Christmas. That is only 13 posts. I like that number much better than 92.

Oh and this post counts.

So I guess I will at least tell a story.

This semester I am living with 4 great girls.

Abish and Gabby have returned as Professional Seniors with me:

And our new roommates are super as well. Danielle and Kylie were in our ward for the past two years and we are privileged enough to live with them this year...

Pictures of them to come once my new camera comes...soon i hope.

It is only 5 weeks into the semester so as far as excitement goes, there isn't much to share. But here are a few interesting tidbits.
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I found this little guy in my room when i moved in. I thought it was going to be this exciting mystery of where David and all his Nakedness came from.
It was anticlimactic.
It was Danielle's.
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This is one of my textbooks this semester.
I love the Dark Knight.
I knew from day one that this would be my favorite class.
It is.
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Gabby and I are domestic goddesses.
We made these.
Yeah. Even the bowls and the little chocolate frill.

Hopefully some things of much more interest and excitement happen between now and Christmas. Otherwise I will be blogging about the kid that had the audacity to steal my usual table at the library or the cool rock I found by the education building that looks like William Shatner...

See. You should hope more exciting things come along too.

Things that are sexy...but actually not...

2010-03-05T18:21:00.005-07:00

A while back, say three and a half years ago when I was a wee freshman in college...(Woah I am getting old.)...I developed a mini love interest for a man I saw across the room at my first day at SUU orientation...which they now call "Flight School". Some clever play on words about earning your "Thunderbird Wings"...LBALLG...which is code for Lame.

Anyways as I was saying before I interrupted myself, on my very first visit to the SUU campus, the Sharwan Smith Center Rotunda to be specific, I laid my eyes on a young man that for some reason struck my fancy. For whatever reason, he caught my attention and I developed a slight fascination with him.

He is a baseball player for the mighty SUU T-Birds and can often be spotted wearing one of these babies:
Yeah. I fell for a guy wearing a fanny-pack.

When I told my friends of this new found captivation I had for this gentleman, their responses were immediate and predictable..."You mean the guy who wears the fanny-pack?" Of course they followed with comments like,
"Does he know it is neither 1982 nor a family vacation to Disney World?"

and

"He is wearing a backpack, carrying a duffle bag AND wearing a fanny-pack....necessary?"

Now I am not one to judge ones luggage(?) needs. He seemed a busy man and I am sure he had a lot to carry and had a reason for the excess baggage. But nonetheless, my friends laughed at my "crush".

Although his fashion sense surely left something to be desired, I was irrevocably attracted to him...and the fanny-pack. Only a confident man can pull off such a faux-pas.

As the year progressed, I caught a glimpse of him a few times a week. Sometimes walking to class, sometimes eating lunch in the rotunda...it became a game. But because I had never actually met the man, nor did I know his name, I just fondly referred to him as "Fannypack". One word. His name was just Fannypack.

Periodically I would get texts that said things like,

"Fannypack sighting. Businesss Quad 1:32 pm"
or
"Hey. Have you seen Fannypack's new haircut?...Hideous."

It became sort of a game to spot this guy I had never met nor would ever formally meet.

One day sophomore year, my car was parked next to his in the PE student parking lot...

As he was getting out of his car, I was getting into mine.

He commented on the weather and how he wished it would warm up. He said he was from Hawaii and that sometimes he wonders why the heck he moved to the frigid cold of Utah....I smiled and giggled along. Then I got in my car and drove away.

The years have passed and I have since learned his actual name. I still just call him Fannypack. I like it more than his real name...It's not a very attractive name.

Today I was walking through the Rotunda in the student center and I saw out of the corner of my eye (in my peripherals), a man wearing one of these:

After some research, I found out these chains are called "Figaro Chains". So. Hot...Not.

Upon closer inspection, I noticed the head sitting just above the bling-clad neck. In the flesh.
Mr. Fannypack himself.

As I left the student center I laughed to myself. And a little bit out loud too. Just quietly.

I laughed because at one time I would have defended his fashion choice with a quick, "Maybe he's in the Maffia." Or a simple, "It was probably given to him by his great grandfather and he wears it in his memory."

But times have changed. I have changed. There was no defending that.

So here's to my years spent under the trance of a belt with a purse attached.
Good riddance.

It's time to find a new love.
Maybe a man with a love of bolo ties or parachute pants.
Or both.

Advertising...

2010-02-20T15:08:00.003-07:00

My roommate Jessica is in a marketing class...I find it all very interesting. Sometimes I find all things of all other majors more interesting than my own major...But I digress.

My point is that marketing is a seriously intriguing industry. The advertising world is EVERWHERE. No joke. The way a store is arranged, the way a store smells (Hollister for example), is all a part of the multi-billion dollar industry that gets us to buy things, try things, look at things.

With technology growing, the internet is now a marketing cesspool. From the pop-up Netflix ads you have to click out of 14 times an hour, to the ingeniously chosen facebook ads, the internet is one big advertisement. And with tracking devices, most of the time ads are pretty well chosen for you and your interests. I once looked up some stuff about missing a birth control pill for a friend of mine using google and other internet sites. For months, Planned Parenthood and Babies-R-Us ads littered the right hand side of my facebook news feed....clever.

For the most part, I would say that the marketing industry is smart, very well researched, if not a little creepy and maybe even invasive...that is until today.

I checked my e-mail today and found this lovely on the right hand side of my iTunes receipt email...

I'm not sure who this gentleman is or why is so angry....or why he is concerned about my going back to school.

So to the marketing department of MSN...I think it's time for some new blood. This ad made me smile, but certainly didn't make me think any harder about my under $45,000 annual income or going back to school...Just sayin'.

Weinies...

2010-01-12T17:05:00.005-07:00

The morning broke and the sun rose today just like every other day in Cedar City. But today. Today would be different.

Now you have to know that the humble town of Cedar City is generally a quiet one. Every once in a while something extra exciting happens.

Like the time some clever ladies put "Ur Mom" in the stadium seats...

Or the time there was a 4.1 Magnitude Earthquake to start off the Spring Semester 2010...
Who knew Southern Utah was on a Fault Line?!...

There was also that little incident with the criminals last year...

But in general, nothing too exciting goes on in our sleepy little town....Until today.

A war has begun.

This morning I woke up feeling illin'. No surprise. One roommate with Mono, one with a mysterious illness that she insists is killing her, and a schedule full of classes where I sit in a room with a bunch of people who are sneezing and coughing like they were raised by wolves. COVER YOUR MOUTH. Please....

Anyways. So I woke and texted the roommate that I would not be joining her for our 8:30am journey to school. I was going to take my sweet time getting ready.

After my sweet time was taken, I logged onto good ol' Facebook to do some daily stalking. (Let's be honest, everyone is both guilty of and a victim of Facebook stalking.)

I notice that a friend of mine, Danielle, who lives in my apartment complex, had updated her status to:
"My apartment has been hot-dogged! I blame #41..."

Now it is obvious that this raised my eyebrows! I live in #41. I also know that I certainly didn't "Hot-Dog" anything.

It made me laugh.

Made me wish I had though of it first.

Confused me as to why I was suddenly the suspect.

Eh. The day must go on. So I commented on Danielle's status defending myself and stating that I presumed my roommates were also innocent. I logged off and continued on my way to school.

As I opened the front door, I was greeted with this:

Sick.

And hilarious.

So the original victims of the "Hot-dogging" in apartment #28 had suspected the innocent and pure girls of #41 and decided to return the meat-sticks to us.

They are not our meat-sticks.

The day continued with an ongoing mystery of who the culprits were.

On my way home from school I found out.

So to the residents of Apartment #28 and #46...

Beware.

The war has begun.

And #41 has heavy artillery.

Manbabies for Christmas...

2009-12-23T16:42:00.006-07:00

So in my too much time at home boredom, I have discovered some great websites...This one had a great Christmas message so I thought I would share it:

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

Now. Listen. I told you I have been BORED. Now you know just how bored. But seriously, that site will make you laugh for hours.

If you need more time wasters, try these:

For views into other peoples boring lives that are always good for a giggle: Click Here

For a view into the lives of those who shop at Wal-Mart...some more disturbing than others: Click Here...if you dare.

For a game that is funny and frustrating, try arranging these "magnets" on this interactive "refrigerator door" Warning: People steal your letters...or you can just sit there and ruin other peoples words...Click Here

Hope everyone has a Safe and Wonderful Christmas and A Happy New Year!

The Nerd Dome Mystery Men...

2009-10-30T00:46:00.004-06:00

Tonight, just like every other Thursday night this semester, I spent 5 hours in the Nerd Dome. That is what we affectionately call the Southern Utah University Gerald R. Sherratt Library. It looks like this:
We call that big round window the "Mission Impossible Window". Have you seen Mission Impossible 3? If you haven't, you won't understand this reference.

Anyways. My story...

By nature, I am a procrastinator. I come by it quite naturally. My mom will tell you. But she'll wait until the last minute to do so. Because of this trait that I was blessed with, you can always count on me to be doing my homework the night before it is due. This semester all of my classes that require homework are on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Thus, I am in the library for countless hours every Tuesday and Thursday evening.

Usually Gabby joins me after Ballroom Dance Company practice and studies with/distracts me for the last hour until the Nerd Dome closes at 11pm. Tonight was just the average Thursday night. I had my usual spot on the third floor at the third table back on the left side all settled and my books and papers spread from here to eternity. Gabby joined my table around 10.

It was about 10:30 when four young men emerged from the elevator and onto the third floor. This floor is my favorite because it is not as eerily quiet as the second floor and is always guaranteed to be a full 13 degrees warmer than it as well...anyways, back to my anecdote....

So the four gentleman stepped out of the elevator and seemed to disperse. Two of them paused just outside the elevator and turned their backs to us and whispered to each other. Although I took note that this seemed odd, I still had a lot of homework to finish before the 'The library is closing" bell chimed.

So I turned my focus back to my hilighter and the pages of my text book. When I looked up again, the boys were standing right next to our table, both with a single tiny rose in hand.

They gently placed the roses in front of Gabby and I, smiled and walked away....

Ok....

Well....

That was....
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Odd?
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Sweet?
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Unexpected?
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All of the above!

We looked around for the gentlemen and caught a glimpse of them as they headed into the stairwell. The one who placed my rose smiled and waved as he disappeared....

So to the gentlemen who so thoughtfully placed those teeny roses and smiled kind smiles as we studied, stressed and so wished that library bell would ring early....Thank you. You made our evening just a little less monotonous.

The Golden Girls and Falling Snow...

2009-10-27T14:40:00.003-06:00

The SNOW has finally come! I have waited...not even very patiently... and it finally came...just in time to wash the "Honk! It's My Birthday" off the back window of my automobile.

In other news. I am officially one year older. And golden. See our 22nd Birthday was on October 22nd....We consider ourselves to now be as classy (and ancient) as the Golden Girls. I call being Dorothy Zbornak. She was the smart, classy and somewhat sassy one. Gabby will probably be Blanche Devereaux....she was the boy crazy one.

Gabby and I had a pretty splendid birthday. Nothing too extravagant...we are getting old and can't stay out too late or party too hard. It's hard on the arthritic joints. The festivities included a "family" pizza party with the ladies of Apartment #41, an early morning wake-up call to the smell of cookies baking and fruit pizzas being made....if you put cream cheese and fruit on a cookie that makes it okay to eat for breakfast right?

The homestead was filled with colorful balloons, streamers and the nicest friends two birthday girls could ask for.

The rest of the day was filled with studying for midterms (10 hours in the library...makes me shiver), a froomie and the novio creating us cupcakes made with love, late night runs to our favorite 24 hour Subway, and opening of gifts galore.

Thanks guys, for making it a super one.

Pictures of the blessed day, homecoming weekend and other exciting events coming soon.

Oh how time flies when....you have no time. It's all in the numbers.

2009-09-24T17:15:00.014-06:00

I recently caught a glimpse of the date of my last post. Whew. My apologies. Four months is a long time! Think of all the things that happen in four months...4 full moons, 121 sunsets, 17 fun Friday nights, 3,783 miles added to my trusty vehicle, 1 King of Pop moon-walking his way to heaven, 3 tragic Nuggs games lost to Kobe, 1 more awards show stumped by Kanye....OH....and all of this:

144 young witches and wizards attend Hogwarts Denver Style Year 7:
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7 Weeks of DayCamp with 1,000,000 funny moments:

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1 Montanyan Visits the Mile-High City for 2 weeks of shopping,

laughing and good fun:
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1 Utahn says farewell to "The Beehive State" and a brave Hello to "The Sunshine State" for 18 months of Preachin' and Teachin' The Good Word to be Heard:
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5 Roomies reunited..and it feels so GooOOOd:

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1 New apartment with the number 41 on the door:.
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17 Credits Underway...Somehow this was much easier to do as a Freshman:
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1 New calling that means I plan 4 activities a month for 34 young, single, super fun, Latter Day Saints:
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122 Days in a Nutshell.

Summer Time Has Arrived?...

2009-05-26T17:00:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was Memorial Day...often the official start of the summer season! With pool parties, Barbecues and summer festivities planned, Mother Nature brought this to the Denver area:
Now you may be thinking to yourself "What?! Snow in May?"...Now, now...fret not....it is NOT snow! Nay! 'Tis actually HAIL!

That is right. Mother nature dropped about a foot of the blessed little round balls of ice. This picture was taken at the end of the street that I live on. It's a bit on the difficult side to see, but there is a white Toyota Corolla stuck in said hail...

Bet here comes the crazy part...about fifty feet behind where I was sitting in my car taking this picture, the grass had a light, almost pixie like, dusting of the frozen balls of rain....And fifty feet in front of me, just beyond this picture, the pixie dusting appeared again. That's Denver for ya.

In brighter news, although Mother Nature may have given Denver a hard time last night...The Lakers couldn't manage to do the same...Nuggs played well and pulled out a 120-101 victory over Kobe....I mean the Lakers...This Cartoon says it all...

Game 5 here we come and may the best (Denver) Team win.

Off I go...

2009-05-18T21:10:00.000-06:00

As hard as I try, I can't seem to get this song out of my head! It's been in there for about four days now...since Thursday night at about 9:55 or so. If you're a Grey's fan, you know why. I finally broke down and bought it on iTunes...It makes me want to cry and to tell everyone I love just how much they mean to me...because it might all be gone tomorrow.

For your listening pleasure...My favorite part is around 3:27...when those elevator doors opened.

Don't forget to pause the music player at the top of this page.

It's Easter, Meester!...

2009-04-12T00:04:00.000-06:00

It is 12:14 AM on April 12, 2009. That means, Meester...It is Easter!!

I am currently planted comfortably on my Grandparents couch in Grand Junction, Colorado. Grand Junction (GJ) means Holidays to me. For all of my existance, I have spent all major holidays here with family. My mom grew up here and most of the family, including aunts, uncles, cousins etc. live here now. When I first decided to go to SUU, we thought that GJ would be a good halfway meeting point between Denver and Cedar. But you see, Christmas of freshman year we found out the truth. My side of the drive is a good two hours longer. Still GJ means family, celebration, and relaxation.

I arrived here in GJ sometime around 8pm on Friday Night...I was greeted in the driveway with My mama and My grandma eager for hugs. Nothing better than good hugs after a long time away from home...

As soon as I was in the door, My grandma, bless her heart, informed me that "the Easter Bunny Came!" Now in my family, things like Christmas Presents and Easter Baskets are often impatiently given early, simply out of excitement...My mom and Grandma are queens of this anticipation. So i walked into the guest bedroom that I would be sleeping in and found this:

Yes. The tag says "I am Ash's Easter Basket".

The basket is that really nifty pasta cooker thing that I know you have seen on those infomercials...

In said basket was all of the following:

About 90000 lbs of candy...including the ever coveted Cadburry MiniEggs.
2 bottles of Gummy Vitamins...my fave.
Toothbrush
Subway Gift card...oh how she knows me.
A pen that smells like Jelly Beans.
A Ward Cookbook.

How blessed. How I love the thought that goes into what she put in my "basket".

What was even better, was when I walked into the room that my mom sleeps in...I found this:

Yes. This tag says " I am LeAnne's Easter Basket"

Hers was a big measuring/mixing bowl. Papa said it is "the bowl to make waffle batter in".

I believe him.

Tonight was filled with family, food and goof conversation. What more could a girl ask for. I am so thankful that I can spend this time with family and celebrate the resurrection of Christ...with Deviled Eggs and Chocolate Bunnies...of course!

Although the bunnies and the deviled eggs are essential too...Let us all remember the True meaning of Easter.

This should help.

Have an amazing Easter and Happy Spring!

HOLLYWOOD...where the streets are paved in gold...

2009-03-21T17:24:00.000-06:00

Spring Break has sprung. And oh how adventures were had.

The break started with a brief but charming visit from our dear friend Rachie. Rachel was our old roommate, she got married and left us to live with her hubby. But this weekend, she came down all by herself. So we behaved as single ladies should! It was just like old times. We read magazines, ate ice cream, watched movies and a whole season of f.r.i.e.n.d.s. Good times. Sunday came and she had to return to married life...but it's okay, they make a precious couple.

After Rachie left, we did our usual Sunday stuff. Church, lunch, nap, fireside. The norm. Monday we did some homework, got my new car stereo installed and went to get some Mary Kay facials. Our Mary Kay lady, Linda is such a hoot. It ended up being a three hour outing, but man, we looked hot. Unfortunately, I don't have any physical evidence.

Then Tuesday came...we decided to get up and leave early, The goal was to be out of the house by 8am. I went down and woke Gabby out of a dead sleep at 7:30. So after some delay, we ended up getting out on the open road some time around 9am. California or Bust!!

We took lots of pictures on our way! Ones of us driving, great scenery, the "Welcome to..." signs of Arizona, Nevada and California, even pictures of the seriously sketch gas station bathroom we refused to pee in!

We rolled into the LA area right around 3pm...just in time for check-in! We checked into our hotel, took more pictures and decided it was time for some food and shopping. So with some advice from the very helpful Chinese gentleman at the front desk, we ended up at the Santa Anita Mall. Cheesecake Factory was for dinner. Our waiter Germaine was a delight. We even snuck a picture or two of him. Did some light shopping and headed back to the hotel...That's when we discovered that Gabby's camera had disappeared. Somewhere between the double decker carousel and the hotel room, it simply vanished. So, all of our pictures from the first day of our adventure are gone. Bummed. B.U.M.M.ER.

But it's okay, becuase we knew that tomorrow (Wednesday)...we were going to Ellen!!

So On Wednesday morning we woke to the ellen theme song, had some free continental breakfast and got ready for the day.

Thanks to Mapquest, and our mad driving skills, we got to WB studios no problem! We checked in at the waiting area in the Parking Garage and were told we could leave and come back at 2:30. We found Hollywood Blvd. and had some lunch then went back to WB.

We were just so psyched to be there!

We patiently waited in this line...

And got these official Numbers...they were from 1-400...so, not too bad!

We waited around for a while for everyone to get checked in. A man named Carlos gave us some pointers on how things were going to go down.Then we got to watch that days episode of ellen on TV's while we waited and drank our ellen water...

Carlos and Tommy walked us into the studio where we had to go through security and have our bags checked. But then...we were in the Ellen studio!!

This is a screenshot from the webcam...can you find us?

We are on the right side by the dunk tank! Can you see us now?

Because they work around the Stars' schedules, we actually filmed parts of two different shows. First Ellen came out and did her monologue...it was about baths! Who doesn't like a good bath? Then WE DANCED WITH HER!!!

When it came to guests on the show, we filmed two different ones. The first one was KATY PERRY! She was great and sang "Thinking of You" and gave the whole audience CD's!

Then Tommy, the man who was kind of in charge of the audience, got us standing up and dancing and having dance competitions while Ellen and Tony changed outfits and the crew changed the stage around a little bit...

This guy won the dance competition and the title of "Ellen's New favorites Audience Dancer!"

Then Ellen and Tony came back on in their new outfits and introduced the next guest, Reese Witherspoon! She was hilarious and just adorable! She even dunked an audience member in green slime!

After the dunking, Ellen said goodbye to the cameras and they turned off. Then she talked to the audience for a minute and thanked us for coming...

Then we were led off of the stage and into the Riff Raff room where the Ellen Shop is. I snapped this somewhat Copyright Infringement picture as we left...
After the show, we decided to try to find a beach...We asked several security guards and their answers were all along the lines of "In Rush Hour traffic, you'll never get there..." But we decided to forget them and brave the HORRID Los Angeles traffic and find us a beach! We found it without much trouble. We got to Santa Monica Beach just after dark but decided to play on the beach for a while anyways! So even though the pictures are dark, I assure you, the Pacific Ocean is crashing behind us!
This says "SB 2009"...as in Spring Break 2009.

A&G

On the way back from the hotel, we got lost. Really lost. The fact that we were both tired,, hungry and lost made for some angry times. We both just wanted the other one to shut up. But when we found an IN-N-OUT burger AND our hotel, our moods changed drastically!

The next morning, we slept in and checked out of the hotel not too long before the noon check out time...

Then we decided to make a trip to Hollywood for some Souvenirs and to try to find the infamous HOLLYWOOD sign...

We found a sketchy somewhat grungy, but filled with many priceless wonders, Hollywood Blvd. souvenir shop to purchase some keepakes....

Then we drove up into the Hollywood hills in effort to get a good view of the Hollywood sign...we got lost...a lot...And the hollywood hills are very tiny, narrow, steep roads that are not the most fun to get lost on...but with the help of a very nice woman in the Hollywoodland market, we found it!

We got back in the car for what seemed to be the LONGEST drive in the history of Road Trips...and we have been on our fair share of Road Trips! But we made it back safely.

We came back with my car 987.9 miles richer, one camera less and some serious wicked times to be remembered.

I should have seen the sign...

2009-03-12T23:38:00.001-06:00

"I should have seen the signs!"

Most of the time, this phrase is said between the sobs of a cheated on wife or a mother who has just discovered her baby boy is dealing the dope...Most of the time, it is said in a figurative way.

I am not saying it in a figurative way.

I literally wish I had seen the sign!! To be specific, I wish I had seen THIS SIGN:
This sign sits at the edge of our Apartment Complex Parking lot. It says something to the effect of "If you don't live here, you don't have the special little sticker on your car, and you can't park here." I am paraphrasing of course.

On Tuesday Night, I should have seen this sign.

So here is the story:

Just as a little background information, my church calling is the Relief Society Librarian. My duties include attending the material center for one hour every Sunday, and aiding the Relief Society in any of their material needs during the week. This includes copies. I know. My calling is pivotal to the functioning of the church!

On Tuesday night, I had several things to copy. So I pulled out my special "DO NOT COPY" key to the church and headed over to do some Xeroxin'.

Gabby decided to come along, seeing as she was the one that needed copies.

So we headed to the church! Because our building is being renovated to accommodate more members, we are currently using the so very conveniently located church building that is right next door. See picture for an idea of just how close this new place of Worship is.

I walk to and from the church probably at least three times a week on average.

As we reached the end of the parking lot and were just stepping on the curb to round the corner, Gabby was in the lead and I was walking with my head down....

Then she heard a big bang...

She turned around to find me clutching my forehead in pain...and confusion.

Somehow, I had run my forehead straight into the bottom edge of the sign! I still don't really know how it all happened!

So I was left with this little present and a concussion. Wicked.

The picture doesn't really do it justice. The goose egg, the dizziness, nausea and impaired vision can't quite be captured with my trusty Kodak Point and Shoot...

But you get the idea...

I am a Klutz.

on the bright side, Spring Break starts at 2:51 pm tomorrow!

KaaaaKAAAA!!...

2009-03-07T00:36:00.000-07:00

A long long time ago...in this galaxy...Gabby and I were watching The Ellen Degeneres Show and discussing how much fun it would be to be in the audience for one of her shows...

It just looks like it is so much fun and so hilarious!

Just Look!

Oh man.

We decided on day to look and see if there were any tickets available for the week of Spring Break...By the time we looked, they were already out of tickets. Lame.

So we moved on with our lives and wondered how we would Spring Break. With Jess and Abish going to Mexico to build orphanages (...at least that's what they're telling people...I'm still convinced they will be spending most of their time on the "Girls Gone Wild" bus...) and Lauren going to good ol' P-Town, we needed an adventure...But ideas were slim.

That is until one day. I was watching ellen, thinking how perfect an adventure that would have been. So i decided to look and see when the next tickets were available.....

MARCH 18, 2009!!!!

Why, that is the Wednesday of Spring Break!

So as fast as my short somewhat stubby fingers could type, I filled out that request form!

Last week, this came in the mail:

That is right. I have two GUARANTEED tickets to be in the studio audience of the ellen show on March 18th!

So, we are practicing our dance moves, because WE will be dancing with ellen. Who knows, maybe we'll even get some cool giveaways!

Now, all we can hope for are amazing guests on the show that day!

Guests I might shed a tear for if they were on the show:
1. Bon Jovi
2. David Beckham
3. Betty White (she is so funny!!)
4. President Obama
5. Anyone from the Grey's Anatomy cast
6. George Cloony (The conclusion to George Watch 2009!)
7. Will Farrell
8. Jack Black
9. Will Smith
10. Johnny Depp
11. James McAvoy

Ha. That list made me look like a boy crazy teenage girl. But I assure you, the fact that the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus are NOWHERE on that list makes this untrue!

Welcome Back, Cornelius...

2009-03-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Meet Cornelius...

Cornelius and I have been together for just over two years. He came to me after Dell so conveniently lost my first laptop companion. He didn't have a name.

Cornelius has been good to me. He has held all of my music...he even kept my little secret about having both the Hansen CD and the Anastasia Soundtrack...all of my pictures, all of my studies and the fruits of my labor in said studies. Cornelius was the hold all for most aspects of my life.

Then, in early January, just after the holiday season, Cornelius got sick. A virus. Now in humans, a virus means that plenty of fluids and extra rest should have them good as new in no time. Unfortunately, this is not so for Laptops such as Cornelius.

I let Cornelius have plenty of rest, hoping that he was just tired. But every time I pressed his power button, this popped up on the desktop:

No joke. This image with the words "WARNING: YOUR COMPUTER HAS CONTRACTED A VIRUS" became my desktop background. Awesome.

I care deeply about Cornelius, but more so, I care deeply about the things he holds inside his plastic and metal body. So I began starting to remove my prized treasures. Music, papers written in the past both recent and long ago, and pictures galore. All was removed...except for 3.98 Gigabytes of pictures.

If you know me, you know that I am both a "shutterbug" and an avid scrapbooker. Needless to say, the thought of losing this many pictures made me sick. But alas, it was either the pictures, or Cornelius. So i bid farewell to the pictures hoping desperately that facebook and roommates had copies to be had.

I decided to call Dell and have them walk me through the restore process...just in case. I just didn't want to risk further damage to Cornelius.

Allen, (I love how the Indian call center techs all have such conveniently American names...) was the lucky technician to get my call. Having worked as a technical/customer support representative, I am generally a pretty nice person, even when I get frustrated. Allen checked my records and promptly informed me that my warranty had expired and that in order to help me with this, it would be a one time fee of $49. Okay. I'll call my cousin who is a computer genius or take it to a computer club geek and fix it that way. But thanks....

BUT then Allen said that it might be a wiser choice to have Dell walk me through the process so that I don't "lose my IP address, thus making it impossible to connect to the world wide web from this computer again." First off, World Wide Web? I prefer internet or getting "online". World Wide Web sounds so very 1994.....ooooooohhhh! The World Wide Web!...But, not wanting to risk never being able to use the miracle of the World Wide Web again, I gave Allen my Credit Card number and tried not to think about how I was going to pay for gas for our Spring Break adventure.

Allen then walked me through the following steps (those of you with Dell's, take notes!):

1. Turn on your computer

2. When the Dell logo appears, tap the CTRL key and the F11 key at the same time.

That's it. Two steps?! You charged me $49 to tell me to push two buttons!!?!??

Allen, I thought we were going to be pals. BFF even. But this. This made that dream impossible...Thanks Allen.

So, after three months, $49, and 4GB of my soul lost, Cornelius has risen.

Welcome back, good pal.

All in a Tuesday Afternoon...

2009-03-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

I am looking out my front window at this:

Okay, not EXACTLY this, but you get the picture.

So now for the story...

(because I don't really know too much about the law and witness protection and confidentiality procedures, some names in this little tale have been changed.)

This morning I arose and did the same things I have done every other Tuesday since January of this year. I got up. Got dressed (Jeans, Blue sweater with yellow cami, brown loafer shoes). Did my hair (curly today). And headed to Institute. Oh how I love Institute.

After Institute, I had to head back to my apartment for a quick IM conversation with my Mother Dearest due to nonworking phone. Verizon Customer Service didn't make a super first impression, but because I love my phone, I have forgiven and forgotten...now that my phone works again.

After sorting things out with Mother Dearest and Verizon, I headed back to the Institute to pick up Gabby for some lunch and chatting. As I sat in the Institute lounge and Gabby waked towards me, we heard several police sirens and witnessed three speeding police cars heading West on Center Street...yes, in the direction of our home!

But alas, we were hungry and didn't think much of it. So we headed for some Grub.

In the line at Quiznos (who makes the tiniest "Sammies"...seriously, infant sized.), I received a call from our friend and Neighbor, Bradley*. Upon my answering, Bradley asked, "Do you know what's going on?"

"Going on with what?" I said.
"Have you looked out your window? There are about 8 cop cars in the parking lot!" Bradley exclaimed.
"Oh heavens! The Cops were headed to our complex!" I said turning to Gabby. "Bradley, if you find out what is going down, let us know!"

Obviously, because we are the nosy people we are, we asked to make our "for her" order a "to go" order. We had some gossip to gather!!

When we pulled into the apartment complex, there were six police cars that I could see. Something. Was. Going. Down.

Playing it cool, like we were just coming home for some lunch, Gabby and I walked into the house and left the door open. We texted Bradley to come fill us in when he could.

He did. To make a long story short, apparently one of the guys who works for the managers of my Apartments doing handy work etc. is in a bit of trouble. We will call him Frank*. The story goes that and undercover police officer walked up to Frank and said "Frank, you know who I am, we need to talk."

Frank didn't want to talk apparently. Instead, he punched the officer and ran. The officer whipped out his gun and started chasing him. So, naturally Frank lets himself into an apartment 2 doors down from me (NOT HIS APARTMENT) and locks himself in, jumps out the window in the back and starts running toward the freeway.

Now, I am not Frank. Nor do I know what was going on in Frank's mind. But I am smart enough to know that punching, then running from a cop, can really only get Frank into bigger trouble.

So now Frank is missing. And of course because he works for the apartment complex, he has keys to all of the apartments. Awesome.

Thus the dogs. Now the precious (and ferocious?) pooches are searching dumpsters, under cars and in apartments surrounding me. Wicked.

As I put my blue sweater on this morning, I only THOUGHT today was going to be just another Tuesday.

Oh how wrong I was...

With my own two hands...

2009-02-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

So, Because I did this on Miss Lauren Jean's blog, I am reposting it to MY blog. Could be fun!

The first five people to leave a comment on this blog will receive something made by me.However there are some limitations

1. I make no guarantee that you will like what I make.
2. What I create will be just for you.
3. It will be done this year. (might take a while)
4. You have not clue what it is going to be, a photo, something I have craftily put together, or sewn. I may bake something and mail it you .
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. It may blow your mind!

Here is the catch, if you choose to do this. You must post this on your blog and be ready to make something for five people too. This will be fun! When you receive the fabulous item I make you, you must post a picture of it on your blog. Because i am so awesome, my awesomeness MUST be spread about the bloggoshpere.

Have Fun!!

PS. Real posts to come soon.

Holly Jolly Jibblets....

2008-12-23T02:09:00.000-07:00

This is a long one guys...it has been a while...

So the semester ended with a BIZANG! With a winter blizzard, ward gathering, carol singing, exam taking (and re-taking for a certain roomie), and an unforgettable Roomie Christmas Morning (which can be viewed here or here...why put it up three times right?), the semester truly ended in style.

After presents were opened, breakfast burritos were eaten and hot chocolate was downed, the packing commenced. In true procrastinators style, Gabby and I both decided not to even start packing until Friday morning...the same day we left, coincidentally. So we packed and packed, got a little distracted by a certain Adolf Hitler book (ahem, thanks again Jess), and by 1pm or so, we were ready to hit the open road.

After precariously parking Gabby's car in a spot that was visible to the managers and Mr. Banks and less visible to a certain other stereo-blasting inhabitant of the complex, we hit the road. The three hours or so between Cedar and Provo were filled with more laughter than is probably safe to have in a vehicle moving 75 mph down a highway. But nonetheless, we made it to Provo with laugh lines on our faces and bodies completely unharmed. We pulled into the University Mall for a quick stop at See's quality candies. Gabby needed presents for the Fam. Somehow, on the way to See's quality candies since 1921, we managed to stop at VS and some random little kiosk for some very important and utterly necessary purchases. I am positive my life would be less complete without said items.

The rest of the evening included dinner at the ever delicious Mimi's Cafe, playing with a favorite 3 year old and his action figures (whom we named Chuck Norris, Darrell... pronounced like Duh-Rell... and Cartel.),Hot chocolate and Christmas lights (with informative commentary) with Lauren Jean, and even a trip to the Distribution Center where we met a very handsome man who served his Mish in Brazil and had very pretty eyes and wore very stylish attire and had a very cute smile...and a ring on his left hand. Sigh. Hazard of Utah.

At nights end, Gabby fell asleep on the floor with impressive speed and I followed after a little chat with the mother.

The following day, we both boarded planes to Denver...separate planes, but both headed to the Mile High City. Of course, I would stay there in my hometown and Gabby would catch her connecting flight and continue onto Billings....or so we thought. Due to weather in Big Sky Montana, Gabby's flight was canceled. Fate would have it that I had not yet left the airport. So, we met up once again for what was sure to be an adventure.

Oh was it ever. Because my mom had to work, I was going to take a shuttle home (possibly sitting next to the skin head white supremacist who was in line ahead of me...swastika tatt included ). But after contemplating the options, we decided that we should call a friend. We called Peggy (bless her heart). Peggy is an old friend of my moms and is somewhat like a second mother to me. She is the kindest most hilarious stereotypical New York Jewish woman you could ever hope to meet. So Peggy picked us up, proved my knowledge of the Jewish faith (no joke. quiz me on it) to Gabby and dropped us off safely at my home. Thanks again, Peggy.

Because Gabby had no luggage, we made a quick trip to target for some pajams, underoos and some clean clothes (we may or may not have been wearing the same clothes for 2 days at this point).

I will point out that when I come home for Christmas, I drive this:Fun right? Convertibles are always fun! But keep in mind that I live in Denver. Where it snows. A lot. This car is VERY fun in the summer time, however not so much in the winter. It is kinda tiny and low to the ground, making any snow less than awesome to drive in. Not to mention it is a Manual Transmission. I drove a stick for 4 years. My first car was a stick. My current car is not. Needless to say, I am a little out of practice. After only killing it once, and only a couple of awkward revs of the engine, I had the hang of it once again. Cake.

So after Target, a much needed trip to Fazzoli's, some even more needed showers and a quick check of the weather, Gabby was once again asleep in no time and I decided that with the blizzard brewing outside and the fact that I had to have Gabby at the airport at 4:30am for her 6am flight (thats right...really? Sheesh child.) it was probably in my best interest not to go to sleep for only an hour and a half, but to instead guzzle a Diet Mountain Dew and start scraping off the car.

Around 3:30, I woke Gabby up and we headed to the airport again. This time, the flight was on schedule. Good sign. The drive to the airport was slow, but uneventful. The drive back wasn't quite so. A little 360 in the middle of an offramp will make anyone wet their pants a little right? Right??

So with Gabby gone and the snow falling, Winter Break began.

Thus far, it has been utterly uneventful. I have watched 787 movies, slept 437 hours and been out of the house at least a half dozen times I would say.

Although I say it has been boring, I will say that I had a true life encounter with Darrell (I will post the story at another time), had some good laughs, purchased and viewed The Forgotten Carols and have enjoyed just being home.

It is now Officially Christmas Eve Eve!!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and of Course Happy Kwanzaa too.

Oh Yeah, the title of this post really has nothing to do with anything other than it makes me laugh and think of Jess.

Pondering the Celluloids...

2008-12-10T00:37:00.000-07:00

In case you were not aware, today, this came out on DVD (yes, and bluray if you are that kind of tech savvy folk).

I saw this in the theaters 3 times. That totals to 7 hours and 39 minutes spent in movie theaters across the globe (1 in Denver, 1 in Aurora and 1 in Vernal, UT) watching this film. Or should I say, "pondering the cinemas and make believes and celluloids of this movie" (if you don't understand that little tid bit, please see this video. Honestly.)

Now, you may say that three times to see the same movie in theaters is a bit excessive. But Nay. My froomie Gabby, she saw it five times. Also all across the globe. So naturally, when the movie was released for our home viewing pleasures, we were required to purchase it.

Gabby and I ventured to our local Mart of Wal and picked it up. We obviously had to skip right over the big display of Batman DVD's and paraphernalia right at the front of the store and go to the electronic section. You may say, "the DVDs in the front are the same as the ones in the electronic section." Duh. But you see, in the electronic section, they have Guitar Hero. On display. To play with. One plasma screen, two guitars and two very happy college girls. So we grabbed the DVD and proceeded to rock out a few tunes on our Fender Strats. I believe todays song choices were "Livin' on a Prayer" (The official anthem of Ashleigh/Gabby roadtrips) and "Are you gonna go my way". . . We even gained the approval of a couple of high-school aged boys who stopped to admire our skills. What can we say?

At home, the froomies taking ASL (Lauren, Jessica and myself) got to business and studied hardcore for our final. Which we dominated...no matter what the girl who moves her whole body when she signs says. Awkward.

The ASL champs returned home to partake in the film festivities of the evening. The lights went out (except, of course, the Christmas tree), the frosty beverages were at our fingertips and we all snuggled under our blankets for the cinema miracle that is The Dark Knight.

Two hours and thirty three minutes later, we applauded, said good night to the Dark Knight, The Batman and Gotham's "White Knight" and hit the hay, for tomorrow, the finals continue. Wish us luck and we'll wish you the same.

P.S.
In response to the last post, when I called Utah "dry and snowless"...

Just goes to show that I shouldn't open my big mouth too soon. Not even five hours after I had posted my complaints, this happened:

It is kind of hard to tell form this picture, but these are the white-out conditions that we encountered on the way home from the Wal on Monday night. Needless to say, I am no longer complaining about Utah's lack of snow. Thanks, Mother Nature. Now please put it on hold until we can all get safely home for the holiday break. Sincerely, Ashleigh.

In only a week...

2008-12-08T14:09:00.000-07:00

In only a week...
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I will have written, edited, turned in and moved on from 3 final papers.
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I will have studied for, taken, demolished and aced one super exam.
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My 720 area code will be normal and not mistaken for the 702 area code.
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My bed will be big enough to completely and utterly sprawl out on and sleep in late in.
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My bathroom will be green, my bedroom blue and my view mountainous.
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My family will be near, but my friends will be far far.
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My options of shopping will be more plentiful than Wal-Mart and Cal-Ranch.
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My Ward will be Peoria, no longer 11.
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My street will be Nome, not Center, good Heavens.
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The traffic will suck, but still make me smile.
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I'll be in the city that's as high as a mile.
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That is right...
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I will no longer be in dry, snowless Utah.
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My mind, body and heart will be in the Winter Wonderland that is Colorado.

Only five more days....sigh.

Theories...

2008-11-24T15:18:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have come up with a theory for the way higher education is today...or rather they way I think it should be.

As stated in the previous post, I am currently pursuing my higher education here...Also as previously stated, I love it here. It is really fantastic....However, I have some issues with my current financial status because of this place.

Southern Utah University's Current Out of State Tuition is: $6,041.00 Per semester of 10-18 Credit Hours. This makes it $12, 082 per year. I know I said that this is such a great place, but seriously? So, once you've paid your tuition you are ready for your educational enlightenment right? No. There are student fees, class fees, department fees, your mom fees...not to mention books. In a poll of a very diverse crowd of students (AKA the girls in my living room) the average student pays somewhere between $300 and $600 for books....per semester. Not to mention rent, food, gas etc....Long story short, the expenses of school are slowly killing young Americans.

With this in mind, I have come up with a plan! Don't you young Americans fret, I have an idea!
This isn't an elaborate plan, and it doesn't involve any graphs, pie charts or confusing visual aids...but, hear me out.

The way I look at it, the dominate reason that I am going to school is to create a future. Not only a future for myself, but for society...I am very glad that the people who are running the country today are educated people (for the most part). I am so glad that the generatios before mine, were filled with men and women who decided to get college educations and learn about the world. The people that chose to turn in their college applications, to work hard to earn that Doctorate degree and to be assets to society, these are the people that are running the world today. Whether you agree with their political views or not, people like George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Conoleeza Rice and Nancy Pelosi are all very well educated people. I am appreciative of this. And I think it is safe to say that people of most generations are appreciative! Although we may harp on the mishaps and the mistakes made by these people, are we not grateful that they are not illiterate, dim-witted, high-school dropouts?

So, when Barack Obama has served his term(s) and the economy has seen it's ups and downs and we find ourselves 30 years in the future, who will be taking the hot seat and running the country? The world? Who will be president? Who will be educating the youth of the world? Who will be on the Supreme Court?.....We will be. The struggling, pimple-faced, Rock Band-playing, Ramen-noodle-eating, homework-doing young Americans of today...Don't we want them to be educated?

This is where my plan comes in. I propose that the way higher education is treated is changed. Ask anyone over the age of 35 or so what they want in 30 years...most of them will answer, "to be able to retire comfortably and happily." I am not over 35, so I don't know this for sure, but I have a hunch...

So if in 30 years, the men and women running the world are in fact illiterate, dim-witted, high-school dropouts, is that happy retirement in the Florida Keys going to be at all possible? I doubt it.

Thus, I believe it should be the responsibility of the men and women who are CURRENTLY running the world to make sure that the future is safe...Make sure that the future presidents, Supreme Court Justices and members of the Senate are well educated and prepared to take on the tasks at hand! So, calling all who are over the age of 35 and would like to live a long and happy life that includes a happy and comfortable retirement...it is time to pony up. Provide for your future.

We should not be paying to go to school, you should be paying us to go to school!!

Then, when we have become successful and well established members of society, we will in turn pay for the NEXT generation to educate themselves and for them to prepare for running the world so that we too may have comfortable, sunny Florida retirements! In a poll of the aforementioned diverse group of current college students, they all agree...we would be more than happy to pay for tomorrows pimple-faced, Rock-Band-playing, Ramen-noodle-eating, homework-doing young Americans to educate themselves....once we are well established members of society.

It will work something like this:

As the top section of the fountain fills, it spills over into the lower section. When that lower section fills, it can the spill over into the section below. If each generation accepts help from the generation before it and gives help to the generation after, maybe the future can be safe indefinitely....

I am not naive enough to think that this perfection and ease is actually realistic or possible...but a girl can dream, right?

Just think....

So, if you are over the age of 35 and feel like you have established yourself as a positive addition to society and would like to contribute to the future, we, in Apartment 14 accept checks, money orders and cash.

Honestly, who wouldn't want to help these loons?!

I Made The Right Decision...

2008-11-13T15:44:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are not aware, I am currently pursuing my higher education, here:

It really is a great place. Although very few people outside the state of Utah have ever heard of my tiny and seemingly insignificant university, I will argue until the cows come home (did I really just use that phrase?) That it is among the best places to be in all of the world. As a senior in an all girls, catholic, college preparatory high school, we were required to apply to a certain number of colleges. I applied to ten. This was the list in no particular order:

1. University of Seattle
2. Brigham Young University Idaho
3. Brigham Young University Hawaii
4. Portland University
5. University of Puget Sound
6. Saint Louis university
7. Southern Utah University
8. Regis University
9. Metro State College
10. Oregon State University

My heart was set on #2. My best friend was already enrolled and loving it. That was where I was going to spend the next four years of my life. I was accepted to the schools in green. Obviously, my plans changed. I have never been good with change. Issac Asimov once said, "The only constant is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today". I can't count how many times someone has quoted Mr. Asimov in an effort to comfort me after a big change. I know. I still don't like it. Thus, when the absence of an acceptance letter to my top choice school changed my plans for me, I had a little bit of a breakdown. What was I to do now? I did the only things I knew how to do. I cried. I prayed. And I begged my wise mother to tell me what I should do with my life. Unfortunately, my wise mother has always the one who encourages me to do what I feel is best for me. When I, the good little Mormon girl, wanted to go to the Catholic school because it was an academic dream, she smiled and helped me fill out the application and study for the entrance exam. My wise mother has always taught me that I need to work hard for what I have in my life, and even harder for the duty of being happy. I knew that she was there to support me no matter what my choice, but that in the end it wasn't going to be her that made that decision.

Alas, the choice was mine. Fairly quickly, I ruled out #5, #6 and #10 for the simple fact that I didn't want to be paying off student loans for literally the rest of my life, and #8 and #9 for being too close to home. I knew that if I was close enough to be able to go home on the weekends for some home cooked meals and laundry, I would never actually be at school. I needed to be far enough from home that I was truly on my own. I had it narrowed down to three. Seattle University, Portland University and Southern Utah University. I still had no idea where I was headed. I had really only applied to SUU because I got the application in the mail and it was a free application that didn't require an essay. It was mostly to fill the application quota...until one Sunday.
My Sunday School teacher in 2005 was Brother Kirby. I don't even know his first name. One Sunday, he asked what schools I was applying to. I replied with the three that I had narrowed it down to. "GO T-BIRDS!" That was all that came out of Brother Kirby's mouth. Awkward....Okay. He put his arms down (he had thrown them above his head in excitement) and explained that he had attended SUU and loved it. I replied with an awkward "thanks" and didn't think much more of it. Yet, for the next days, weeks, months...SUU stuck out in my mind like a blinking neon sign. So, this is an Ode to Brother Kirby. Thank you. I truly never would have thought twice about that SUU acceptance letter...your enthusiasm and upraised arms somehow triggered and inner sense that SUU was where I needed to be....
I have very little reason to think that Brother Kirby would be reading my blog, but if any of you know Brother Kirby, of the Wash Park Ward of the Denver Colorado Stake, please, point him in my direction...or at least the direction of my Blog.
Now that I am in my third year at SUU, I know more than ever that I made the right choice. The things I have had the opportunity to do, the faith I have gained, the people I have met. They all let me know every day that I made the right decision.
To the opportunities, the faith and in particular, these people:

Thank you.

Delicious Hot Schmoes.

2008-11-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

Last night, for FHE, our ward and the college way apartments ward got together for a bonfire and some singing testimonies. So, we all bundled up to face the cold and drove out to three peaks for some spiritual enlightenment! We got there after only one wrong turn...last year we got REALLY lost...So we found some friends, cuddled close to the fire for warmth and the night began. It was cold. And really dark. I think somehow the cold made it darker because as people called out my name or said hi to me, I had to squint and get awkwardly close to them to be able to see who the heck they were. So when I started recognizing people...I started taking pictures!
Here are a few of the first attempts...
Yes...My eyes are closed in every one of them. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what was wrong with me, but I eventually got the hang of it. So the night carried on and we made these...And then we all sang some of these...The fire slowly died down and the marshmallows and chocolate diminished...Everyone parted ways. We drove home...Four of the Five Froomies...singing Christmas songs and listening to Delilah all the way. Today, was a good day.

The color of money...

2008-11-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

After months and months of fighting with the kind yet somewhat incompetent folks at Sun Trust Bank...It has arrived.

Saturday, around 3:30 in the afternoon...My Froomies checked the missive box. They returned to our home and Lauren exclaimed rather excitedly, "Ashleigh, I think today is your lucky day..."

You see, for several weeks now...several months now to be honest...I have been saying that "today is the day!" And when a froomie checks the mail, they are so kind as to check for anything from AES (American Education Services) addressed to me....and it happened that EVERYDAY for the past week and a half, I have received an envelope from these blokes...EVERYDAY I received a letter confirming the amount of my loan, or a letter telling me when my next disbursement will be, or a letter telling me that Sun Trust Bank is being lame and must send me a billion pieces of mail before they can mail my actual check. Seriously....

But...on Saturday, it came!!
Yes folks. A check. Made out to me. In the amount of $10,000

So, now that I can pay off my credit cards that I was forced to put my tuition on, buy some winter clothes and buy groceries that aren't ramen and cereal...life is good.

More news. Today, I went to the humble Cedar City Department of Motor Vehicles and officially gave up my Colorado UNDER 21 license for a Utah OVER 21 license. That's right folks, after voting in Colorado, I was willing to go ahead and work towards my Utah residency...soon to be a true Utah mormon....sorry Lauren....I know those words make you cringe a little.

I can buy you beer now...

2008-10-26T14:10:00.000-06:00

To all those who are not aware, I am now able to purchase you some beer or other alcoholic beverages! I will not do so...but I COULD if I so pleased. Just for all of you to know.

Alright, so after the week started with a Bang of Poop Water and Froomie reunions, it only continued to get better....Tuesday, we all returned to the Southern Utah University to engage in our educational endeavors. Tuesday evening was filled by a most exciting ASL (American Sign Language for all you non-signers) exam which Lauren, Jessica and I all aced. Some more acing and others. Nonetheless, we all did rather well. Then we played some ASL games in class where Lauren and Jessica were on Team 4 and I was on Team 1 (the winning team). The only REAL reason we won was because someone from Team 1, (some silly named Lauren Johnson) cheated. Yes, folks. C.H.E.A.T.E.D. But, the atonement is for everyone, as Brother Mark Johnson has so kindly taught us. Anyways, getting back to the evening...After ASL, Lauren and Jessica mysteriously disappeared to run an "errand". While Lessica (Lauren and Jessica) did their secret deeds, Gabby and Abish met me at Taco Tuesdays....a genius invention of the Del Taco Corporation to feed college students for very little currency. We sat, we ate, we were so rudely interrupted by some goons knocking on the window of the Del Taco Establishment...it was Lessica! Lessica joined us! So, we enjoyed our tacos and conversation as a little family! after tacos, it was some light baking and off to bed to rest ourselves for what was sure to be the most exciting Wednesday the world has ever seen!

So the children of Apartment 14 were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of birthday parties danced in our heads...

Then, the blessed day arrived!!!

Around 5:30am, my tired eyes opened to a noise coming from just outside my bedroom....A crinkling noise followed by the distinct sound of scotch tape...tender...my roommates love me enough to tape me into my room with streamers on my 21st birthday. I returned to my slumber and woke a couple of hours later ready for the day!I woke with what seemed to be a renewed view of life! I was 21...I could buy booze...i wouldn't, but i could. Life was good. Downstairs, the house was covered with balloons and the cookies we had baked for our institute class waited for me on the counter. I grabbed the cookies and I was off to see my Birthday Buddy Gabby and to bask in the glow of the Gospel of institute....As a i reached my car, I noticed the writing. I have a fairly large car. It is a Saturn Vue, a mid size SUV type thing which has rather large windows. on each window there was something different written in a sunny yellow window marker...messages included "21!", Hot! Stars and hearts and even, in huge writing on the back, "Honk! It's My 21st B-Day!"...This was going to make for an interesting ride to school...
Having received many Birthday Honks from the kind folks of Cedar City, all of which I thanked with an awkward but sincere wave, I arrived safely and the Building of the Institute of Religion. Ready to see my pal and to pass out some cookies!...but alas. Class had been canceled because of some very unfortunate health problems with my teacher's father. After grieving and wishing the best for Brother Garner and his father, I was suddenly faced with the dilemma of what to do with three dozen pumpkin adorned sugar cookies. So as people arrived to go to class, i informed them of the misfortune....and that they could have a cookie if they wished! So Gabby and I passed out some cookies and made some friends...who wouldn't want to be friends with girls who made such cute cookies, i ask??
After the passing out of our cookies, with a free hour on our hands now, Gabby and I went for a delicious lunch at the ever loved Pastry Pub...where we encountered a man on rollerblades awkwardly feeding a woman he sat across from, a heavenly smelling man and an array of much more pleasant music than we normally find at this establishment.

The day progressed with some homework doing, some cookie eating, some cake ordering and some Enrichment Night attending. Lauren Jean made us a delicious dinner of Navajo tacos...mmmm.

Then, when Jessica returned from her Place of Business (Chinatown), the festivities really began!
We broke out the bubbly (cider, folks), the delicious "top secret recipe" cake Lauren made, and of course...Presents!!

Presents included:
Jewelery (approximately 987 pieces)
2 purses (both adorable)
2 DVD's (Iron Man and one called Slackers)
1 Fondue Pot
1 Fondue cookbook so I know what to do with the fondue pot
$$$...always appreciated
3 Tubular 80's Cd's
Lots of Cards!!

Thanks all for the birthday Love...Much appreciated.

Thanks Birthday Buddy for another great year!

Magic Poop Water...

2008-10-21T12:52:00.000-06:00

Okay, I have been recently inspired to revamp the Blog part of my life. So, here goes. This is my new blog. It is sort of in the middle of the revamp so please abstain from judgment until it is complete!

This week has been a spectacular one! We started it all with a school holiday (for the opening of deer hunting season....you know you live in Southern Utah when...). So as the men and women clad in camo head to toe ventured into the forests, the girls of Apartment 14 had different plans in mind. Lauren enjoyed a weekend in Northern Utah at home with the fam, Jessica crossed the country (all the way to Arizona) to cuddle with the niece and nephew, Abish slept until 2pm in the peaceful and quiet apartment, and Gabby and I ventured North for a weekend with her Grandparents, Aunt and two gallons of "Magic Water"...we'll get to the details of that later. So the weekend began.

The road to Delta, Utah is quite possibly, the most boring drive one can encounter in the continental United States. The two lane 65 mph speed limit highway is littered with views of open fields and the occasional hill, cow, or if you're lucky, a sheep or two. But, don't you fret, because the two towns you drive through on your way will surely get your blood a runnin' in excitement! First on the map we have Minersville Utah. Complete with two gas stations, a car dealership and about 35 people to wave at, it is the epitome of a quaint and somewhat awkward small town...If you thought you were excited in Minersville, just wait 'til you see that Welcome to Milford Sign...As you slow down to the required 25 mph, one encounters yet another small town gas station and a main street lined with precious houses with tiny porches all with Halloween flags billowing gently in the breeze. Just down one side street, one finds the 24/7 diner "Penny's" that may or may not have been visited by a number of Southern Utah University college girls in the middle of a boring spring night in April. Then, before you can blink twice, the towns are gone and all there is left to look for is the refinery on the right that tells you you are a mere twenty minutes from the Grandparents front step...

So the weekend continued with lots of home cooking, junkfood eating, movie watching and nail painting...which is where it starts to get good...Gabby demanded her 16 year old aunt to bring us the nail painting paraphernalia, and Annie did so just like a makeshift slave should. She brought the normal tools including polish, remover, files, etc. etc....But along with all of those, she also carried a gallon of clear liquid with the words "Beauty Splash" scribbled in permanent marker across the jug. Gabby and I looked at eachother grinning and wondering what could possibly come next. Annie unscrewed the lid and told us both to hold out hands out...after much protesting and insisting that we do this over a sink, Annie poured about 2 tablespoons of this liquid into our hands and told us "Rub your hands together!" And we did so tentatively. It felt like someone had pored water on my hands and I was rubbing them together...it's as simple as that! But then....then the real miracle occurred...After a few minutes, my hands felt as soft as a baby's butt! No joke, folks! This beauty splash worked. So after Gabby and I compared soft and luscious hands, we concluded that maybe this Beauty Splash was something legit. THEN we were informed that this was just the beginning of the miracle! The Grandparents have purchased a state of the art Magic Water Machine! As explained by Grandma Brenay, this machine "makes the water more alkaline or more acidic"...make of that what you will. Apparently the machine makes both "Beauty Splash" water that is good for your skin, and "Magic Water" that is good for your body but comes with a Grandfatherly warning that it may "make ya poop!".

So we watched more movies, ate more junkfood drank more "Magic Water" and even made our way into town for a stop at Leo's , the local burger palace, and RC Staples, the department store with scary bathrooms. After hugs and refills on the Miracle Liquid, we made our way South, back home to greet our Froomies (Friends/Roomies) and to prepare our little selves for the Birthday Week of the century...more details surely to come later!